"A woman happily in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven."
-Baron St. Fontanel
DONT SIT ON TOP THIS DICK IF U SCARED OF HEIGHTS
I laughed way harder than I should have. Ahahahha
(via thelegendofcoitus)@18 hours ago with 143059 notes
Riddle me this:
Why do all the guys I like and date end up telling me, “I don’t want to be in a relationship, I want to focus on making myself a better person.”
Okay. Cool. ^^
2-3 months later:
They go on telling me they’re dating a girl.
All I have to say is,
If you knew from the get go you didn’t want to date me, you shoulda just cut ties fool. Don’t lead me on.
Fuckin n!#%$^#s.@23 hours ago with 2 notes
I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”
BEST GRANDMA STORY
(via adammccarkeys)@6 hours ago with 190933 notes
Whose considering the military route? (raises hand)@1 day ago